FAIL

Dear Doug, the I-have-a-woodworking-shop-in-my-garage-cabinet-guy,

Hi, its me, Lori. No not Laura, or Lauren. Lori. We have been talking for three days now. And yes, I am STILL Karen's daughter. You may have forgotten, but my mom ordered my dad's Christmas present from you almost three months ago. She was that short lady whose calls you have been ignoring. (Don't you wish I hadn't taught her *67?)

I know you said that the piece would be done on Wednesday. I know we worked out that Thursday would be a perfect time to pick it up. I was even pretty understanding when you got stuck in Salt Lake. (Oh and I am still not sure why you told me your wife was mad at you-we've never met.) I waited around all night, abandoning my hopes of productivity--waiting for your call. I waited patiently to hear from you on Friday. Remember how we discussed that I was leaving town at 2:30 and that I needed to take that with me? I know I struggle with time management, but how are 2:30 and 5:00 so easily confused?

Luckily Amy and Riley were coming out. They were so kind to bring their truck out and pick it up. Too bad they didn't know what they were supposed to be picking up.

Lets run through this check list:

Dimensions: FAIL- See those cords above the piece? Yeah, the point of a custom cabinet was to hide these.

Color: FAIL- See that sample board? That was the color agreed upon. We actually like this color though, so happy mistake.

Material: FAIL- What part of "I don't want knotty alder" did you not understand?

Shelf Height: FAIL-We wanted the speaker to FIT inside the piece.

Visual Balance: FAIL- The two sections on the door front, why did you make the upper one taller? (Luckily we flipped the doors and that worked out)

Speaker Cloth: CHECK- Hey I just wanted to give credit where it was due. Good job. You put it in and it is black.

Hey, you are a nice guy, but really? I do feel a little comfort in knowing you aren't an engineer...

Love Lori

In the words of my good friend Eduardo, "BAD design"