I'm Single. I'm Not Broken.

A year or so ago, my sister asked me what I think when I read articles in the Ensign about being single in a church that focuses so much on families. At the time I didn't think too much about it. I wasn't feeling terribly concerned about my marital status, so they were just words on a page. I was intrigued by her question, so she tried to elaborate further. She continued:

"I don't have any problem with not holding the Priesthood, but sometimes when I spend a lot of time reading words of people who are seemingly trying to console me, I wonder if I should be concerned about that."

While that didn't necessarily apply at the time, it stuck with me.

I am not sure exactly when it happened, but I think somewhere something changed and this describes my thoughts pretty well now. I am happy and life is good. The only (okay not ONLY-but mostly the only) times I start to worry or get antsy or whatever is when I talk too much to someone about it, when I start trying to control this. I have learned to stop doing that-because it never makes me happy.

In all of these thoughts I have realized a few things in this stage of life and one of the primary realizations is that unless you have experienced this stage, there is NO way for someone to know what this experience is like, for better or worse. On behalf of all of us who have made it this far, let me share my perspective, even a few tips for those of you who don't understand:

1. I am not sick. I am single- I don't need consoled or pitied. (Actually, for the record, most sick people don't want that either.)

2. Don't try to fix it- Again, there is nothing wrong with me. I just haven't found the one I am looking for. I appreciate that you love me enough to feel invested in my life. Thank you, but I am okay.

3. "It will all work out, the right guy will come and you will be so happy."- That seems to be what everyone wants to tell me. I believe it. I hope for it. I plan on it. Please don't make me try to convince you. Sometimes it seems this is harder for you than for me. You can be supportive, I appreciate that. I love compliments and to be reminded that I am great. Even an occasional well placed, "the one who gets you will be so lucky..." is great, but don't over do it (see #1).

4. Kites & Balloons-Yes, it is nice to have the flexibility to go where ever we want and chase whatever dreams/passions/opportunities come our direction. You know what else is nice? Having someone that keeps you grounded, stable and in control. Soaring through the clouds with direction is so much easier if there is someone on the other side of the string. (I know this seems opposite of everything else in this list, but it is equally irritating.)

5. "Because we are both single?"-If you are setting us up solely because we are both single, PLEASE reconsider. Know that the trouble is not in meeting other single people, it is in meeting other single people that I am interested in. 

6. I am happy- Please believe that my life is good. I have a good job & good friends. I am involved in the world around me. I do want to get married, but for now, until that happens I am happy. I am entitled to days when I just want to get married, but it is not all I think about.

7. Never ever ever ever ever ever EVER ask someone "Why not?" As in 'So... are you dating anyone?' 'No. Not really' 'We'll why not?' I don't know. You tell me... Am I ugly? Do I have bad breath? Do I scare men off? Just assume that if I say no, its for a good reason, probably that there just isn't an interesting prospect in the dating pool at the moment.


---To Be Continued---

Making friends

I am a temple worker now. Did I mention that? Well I love it. I was a little nervous about the time commitment at first, but it has turned out to be fantastic.

One of my favorite things has been getting to know the other workers. There are a few ladies that have inspired me with either their humility, helpfulness or friendliness.

My favorite new friends are some of the older gentlemen. I met a group of guys a last week. I say by them in the cafeteria and they were so surprised! They couldn't wrap their heads around a young woman wanting to sit by them. It didn't take long for us to become friends, and they were the highlight of my week.

I went back to sit by them again this week. Brother Smith told me about being President Monson's bishop. That sounds fun right? Another was telling me about his career. Brother Cannon pulled out a pen and a napkin -he had me write my name and number. I guess he is setting me up with someone. Who that someone is... I guess I will let you know when I know.

Spending time with these guys is becoming one of my favorite things to do. (Oh and funny thing, a sister asked me a little later if I was related to one of them. Apparently she was also shocked that I didn't sit at the women's table.... Uh no. Just making friends with a couple of new grandpas.)

I gave a marriage talk this week in sacrament meeting. Fun right? I read some talks and am still thinking about them.

I am not one who has much of a list, or not a very specific one at list. I want goodness, and of course I want him to be tall and handsome.

I saw this quote from President Hinckley and realized this is largely my 'list' -maybe I am not as picky as they say ;)

The girl who marries you...will wish to be married to someone who loves her, who trusts her, who walks beside her, who is her very best friend and companion. She will wish to be married to someone who encourages her in her Church activity and in community activities which will help her to develop her talents and make a greater contribution to society. She will want to be married to someone who has a sense of service to others, who is disposed to contribute to the Church and to other good causes. She will wish to be married to someone who loves the Lord and seeks to do His will.

http://www.lds.org/ensign/1998/05/living-worthy-of-the-girl-you-will-someday-marry

Flaming Gorge

I helped Success in Education with a fundraiser in up at Flaming Gorge. And by 'helping' I mean I drove a 15 passenger van around Daggett county. The good news is that although it snowed on the way up, it melted and the gorge was beautiful!

neat.

nothing is quite as neat as having your roommates boyfriend catch you putting hair removing cream on your face.

neat.

oh wait. maybe asking your friend if his girl has a ring yet-within hours of him asking (and her turning him down) is even better.

wait.

i know, i've got it. having a stranger *spit on your car regularly is the best.


___________________________________________________________

*really though. someone keeps spitting on my car. i am not parked in the bike lane or covering someone's driveway. i am just parking on the street. my roommates' cars are not desecrated--just mine. i only know a handful of people in this zipcode. i am not sure who i have offended.

lets hug it out

After I unpack the boxes, determine what is under the plastic that is taped to my ceiling and tightly secure the root cellar access in my Harry Potter closet I will post photos and update you all on my new life. In the mean time, lets talk about this:

This is Crossfit.

Crossfit is the thing I love to hate. Only lately, its becoming the thing I hate to love. (Sometimes I even look forward to going. Shhh...) Today I dead-lifted 155 lbs. I know, I know, lots of people are a cooler than me and can do way more.

But this is my blog-not theirs.

I am super proud of myself. I still hate hang clings and thrusters, and my friends laugh because I am afraid to drop the barbell, but today was good.

Also, I am wanting it to warm up a little so I can run outside. (I am not really a runner anymore, but I am getting chubby...so....) Well I have considered getting a month to month membership at 24 Hour Fitness so I can hit the treadmills before then. But then I remembered how much I hate those. I saw an article on KSL tonight about how to make your treadmill run more enjoyable. I was lost in the first thirty seconds when she talked about running 16 miles on a treadmill. I WOULD RATHER DIE! Dramatic? Maybe.

March? Anyone?

One of the best nights I have had in... I don't even know how long.