Hello, its me-the one in the back bedroom. You may or may not recognize me. I am the one who pays to live here.
I apologize for not including your name. You see I don't know it, but I do know that you were in MY shower this morning. I think it was you, it may have been one of the others that use this apartment as community housing. How many of you were here this morning?
I know this is your cousin's apartment, (Well actually I am not sure you are her cousin, but I will give you the benefit of the doubt.) but I am still unsure why that means that you are using MY toothpaste, and MY hand towel. You see your cousin pays to live here, but she isn't here. Why are you?
Oh! I see! You must have become close with the HAMSTER that lives in this apartment! I do apologize for being the one that caused it's relocation. Yes, it is still in the apartment but tucked away in a bedroom rather than in my front room.
I am writing this long after the other roommates have gone to bed. The front door is still unlocked though, because for some reason we are under obligation to leave it unlocked so that you can come and go as you please.
You do realize that your cousin Lauren won't be here until Friday right? Oh! Oh you do? Okay. Well, while you are here do you mind washing the dishes since our dishwasher doesn't work?
Thanks,
Lori Jane (the new roommate in the back bedroom)
6 comments:
that's frustrating!
Great narrative, just remember to post it in a highly visible location.
ha, well done.
lori. i have a plan. plan a- we kick them out of your apartment and then we rule the world! muwhahahaha! ...or plan b- you could lock your apartment door and not let her in... i like plan a.
Reminds me of the time I lived in Provo. There was a guy there who also didn't pay to live there and had an tinkering to wearing MY socks, which I always had to dig back out of his drawer. Hang in there - and if nothing else, a nice call to the local authorities does wonders. =)
Dear Lori,
One little phone call to a landlord does wonders. I wouldn't mention your name but the apartment # I would not dig leaving my apartment unlocked for anyone.... especially a random girl. EVICT!!!
me
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